Greater Than Our Relationships · Transcript

1. 0:00 Delighted to be with you again, to continue our discussion of Colossians.
2. 0:05 But let me start with this, with this.
3. 0:09 My experience in this world in which we live in is that all of our culture is adrift in the modern Western world.
4. 0:22 And the reason that the culture is adrift is because we've abandoned God.
5. 0:27 We've abandoned His way of doing things.
6. 0:29 We've abandoned the things that He considers vital and important and have focused on ourselves and our own pleasures, our own desires in place of Him.
7. 0:38 And because we've abandoned God, we've lost our way.
8. 0:42 And every generation, as far as I can tell, as long as I've been alive, seeks a new way to do that.
9. 0:48 And so what we're experiencing today is no different than what was experienced 20 years ago or 20 years before that or 20 years before that.
10. 0:54 Every generation comes up with their own way of doing that.
11. 1:00 Each one promises to flourish.
12. 1:03 Each one says that this is the way, this is how you raise your kids, this is how you husband, this is how you are a good wife, this is how you do this, that, or the other, and every single one comes up with a new way because the last one was a disaster.
13. 1:19 And those of us that experienced the disaster look back and say, well, that didn't work, so let's come up with something new.
14. 1:27 And so we come up with something new, and then that's a disaster.
15. 1:31 But thankfully in our time, there is a coming back to Jesus.
16. 1:36 And we're seeing it among young men especially in the Western world, in the modern Western world in the last two years.
17. 1:43 There was a Gallup poll last year that showed that young men in their 20s saying that God is very important in their lives rose like 20 points, 20 percentage points.
18. 1:58 So God is doing something.
19. 2:01 And usually the way he does something is by uncovering sin and showing us what doesn't work.
20. 2:06 You tried it that way, you tried it that way, you tried it that way.
21. 2:08 Why don't you give my way a shot and see how it works?
22. 2:12 And I think that's one of the things that he's doing in our generation and we're seeing it now.
23. 2:18 They and we are always looking for solid ground to build our lives, to build our futures.
24. 2:23 And he is the solid ground.
25. 2:26 In last week, when we were in the beginning of chapter three,
26. 2:30 we saw that Jesus frees us from slavery to sin so that we might serve God.
27. 2:35 And it's in serving God that we find our fulfillment.
28. 2:39 That's where it is.
29. 2:42 Now that looks like sanctification.
30. 2:43 That looks like being made holy.
31. 2:45 That looks like being set apart for God.
32. 2:48 Less fleshy, more spiritual.
33. 2:50 And as the new spirit begins to do stuff in the new man, what happens is that all the relationships of that new person are affected.
34. 3:01 By definition, they have to be.
35. 3:03 Because that's what relationships are.
36. 3:05 So this week, Paul lays out some very practical instructions for Christian households.
37. 3:12 And I know that they're going to be a bit controversial to some people.
38. 3:15 Some people say yeah, and some people say no, and their skin just sort of, you know, tickles when I even say the words.
39. 3:22 But what we'll learn is that there's a deeper truth here.
40. 3:26 What we'll learn is that our households become the household of God as Christ becomes its focus.
41. 3:32 See, Jesus has to be the focus of the household.
42. 3:35 Not us, not what we want, not what we desire.
43. 3:38 In every relationship, Jesus has to be the focus.
44. 3:41 And the way that our households will flourish is as Jesus becomes the focus of the entire household.
45. 3:49 So in our structure for this morning's talk, we're going to talk about three different kinds of relationships, right?
46. 3:55 Because Paul focuses on three relationships here in Colossians.
47. 3:58 We'll talk about husbands and wives.
48. 4:00 We'll talk about parents and children.
49. 4:02 And we'll talk about bond servants and masters, which is really the work relationship.
50. 4:07 But husbands and wives, that's going to be the longest, by the way, because this is where we face the most difficulty in our culture today.
51. 4:14 Husbands and wives.
52. 4:15 So let's start with the, I think, by looking at some of the parallel passages before we dive into what...
53. 4:22 Paul says here in the book of Colossians.
54. 4:24 And just so you do think that this is a Pauline thing, and Paul is the only one that talks about this, we see the same kind of idea in Peter's first epistle in 1 Peter 3, where Peter writes, after teaching on the suffering and the obedience of Christ, this is what Peter writes, likewise, just as Jesus suffered and Jesus obeyed, likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands.
55. 4:51 So that even if some do not obey the word, that is, they're not Christians, they might be won without a word by the conduct of their wives when they see your respectful and pure conduct.
56. 5:04 So that is the same idea that Paul gives us in Colossians.
57. 5:09 Now, Paul talks about this in different places.
58. 5:12 The place where he talks about it the most is in Ephesians, Ephesians chapter 5.
59. 5:17 So Ephesians 5, verses 21 to 24, this is what he has to say.
60. 5:21 And I start in verse 21 on purpose, which, funny enough, if you look in your Bibles, usually there's a division there.
61. 5:29 And the editors of the Bible include verse 21 with the prior section instead of with the latter section.
62. 5:37 I think that may be because they're men.
63. 5:41 But what it actually says, because there are no divisions in Paul's writing, he tells them to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
64. 5:52 And then he says...
65. 5:55 Wives submit to your own husbands.
66. 5:57 So there's a mutual submitting.
67. 5:59 And it has to be that way, because think of it, every relationship involves a submitting.
68. 6:04 There's no relationship that you have with any human being on the face of the earth that doesn't involve some kind of submitting, submitting to their preferences, to their likes, to their dislikes, to their proclivities, to their baggage, to their stuff.
69. 6:17 If you want to have a relationship with a human being, there's going to be a submitting at one level or another.
70. 6:23 So after telling them to submit to each other, Paul writes, Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord.
71. 6:30 Sounds familiar.
72. 6:31 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.
73. 6:38 Now as the church submits to Christ, now also wives should submit to everything to their husbands.
74. 6:44 That sounds like a lot.
75. 6:45 And I know there are some of you in here, ladies, all the men are saying, yeah.
76. 6:50 And some of you ladies are saying, wait a minute.
77. 6:53 Hold on, Jay.
78. 6:54 I don't like how that sounds.
79. 6:56 That's really rubbing me the wrong way.
80. 6:57 Well, let's look at what he says in Colossians.
81. 6:59 In Colossians 3.18, he similarly instructs wives, submit to your husbands as it is fitting in the Lord.
82. 7:07 Same thing he said in Ephesians.
83. 7:09 Submit to your husbands as it is fitting in the Lord.
84. 7:11 Now, you can translate those words from as it is fitting also in this way.
85. 7:17 As long as it is proper.
86. 7:19 Submit to your husbands as long as it is proper in the Lord.
87. 7:24 Right?
88. 7:24 So there are some things which it's right to submit in the Lord, and there are some things which it is not right to submit because it's not in the Lord.
89. 7:33 But there's definitely a submitting that is in the Lord.
90. 7:36 Now, the Bible has a lot to say about the role of women in the world, the role of women in their homes, and we are not going to cover that today.
91. 7:46 No way, right?
92. 7:48 But if you're interested, I suggest you start in Proverbs 31 because that's what the biblical wife looks like according to God, and it is a huge role, and she is an entrepreneur, and she is a leader, and she is amazing like my wife, right?
93. 8:08 So what are we talking about here?
94. 8:11 Well, this passage does not teach anything contrary to the wealth of teaching about women and the role of women and the role of wives that's taught everywhere else in the Bible.
95. 8:23 And there's a lot, right?
96. 8:24 So it's not teaching all of that.
97. 8:26 And in the Western world today, we have the idea that any woman, that any woman should ever submit to a man is anathema.
98. 8:36 That's not it either.
99. 8:37 So it's not one and it's not the other one.
100. 8:40 So what is going on?
101. 8:42 Look, frankly, I think that men are reaping what they sow.
102. 8:47 For years, men have been, for years, for decades, for generations, men have acted like ogres.
103. 8:54 So what are they sowing today?
104. 8:56 The fruit of acting like ogres over generations and generations of time.
105. 9:01 Is it hard to be a man and a husband today?
106. 9:02 Yeah, you bet.
107. 9:04 Is it our own fault?
108. 9:05 Yeah, you bet.
109. 9:07 Because men have been ogres.
110. 9:09 And that is not what God intends for men to be or for women to endure.
111. 9:15 So what are we talking about here?
112. 9:17 I think that in Colossians, the implication is simply this.
113. 9:21 That, like I said, all relationships involved is give or take, but there are things that we have to give that don't really matter.
114. 9:32 And what Paul is telling wives is to focus on the important thing.
115. 9:38 Don't let the little things become the focus of your marriage and thereby give up the ability to testify to the bigger things, the things that God really cares about that are important to him.
116. 9:52 In the Roman world, the father figure was the paterfamilias, the head of the family.
117. 9:59 There was one man, and he was the law in that family.
118. 10:03 He was the sole owner of all the family assets.
119. 10:08 When a child was born in the family, he decided if that child became part of the family or was tossed out with the trash.
120. 10:16 He decided what debts the family went into.
121. 10:18 He decided if he wanted to sell one of the family members into slavery.
122. 10:23 He did the buying, he did the selling, he was the dominus of the family.
123. 10:29 That was the role of the man.
124. 10:30 And that's the role to which Paul is saying,
125. 10:37 As long as it's in the Lord, submit to him.
126. 10:41 But if it's not in the Lord, don't.
127. 10:45 And that's the important thing, you see.
128. 10:48 If we think back to Ephesians 5, what's Paul saying?
129. 10:51 It's like, there's going to be a bunch of stuff in the household that are of secondary importance.
130. 10:58 And your husband is the dominus.
131. 11:01 And so he gets to choose this, that, or the other in that culture, in that time.
132. 11:07 But the important thing is Christ.
133. 11:10 So as the paterfamilia dominus, the head of the family religious cult, the priest of the family, by the way, if he asks you or tells you to do something that is counter to Christ, stand up and say no.
134. 11:27 That is revolutionary.
135. 11:31 Because that's the only thing that matters.
136. 11:33 The rest of it is secondary.
137. 11:37 So how do you get him to give in on the things that are important?
138. 11:43 By not making a big deal about the things that are not as important.
139. 11:47 I think that's what Paul is saying here.
140. 11:50 And the philosophical perspective that time was might makes right, right?
141. 11:55 The father is the strongest, so he has the right.
142. 11:58 But Paul tells us that wives, something very different, something very radical.
143. 12:04 When it's not contrary to God's word, submit.
144. 12:08 Now that's a very realistic view of the culture that they were in and the world that they were in.
145. 12:13 That's not the world we live in today.
146. 12:15 But that was then for that time.
147. 12:17 That is how Christ is elevated in the relationship.
148. 12:23 by focusing on Jesus and not the other secondary things.
149. 12:26 In many ways, gender roles are equal.
150. 12:29 We're equally loved, equally saved, equally adopted, equally redeemed, equally delivered.
151. 12:34 We've been talking about those in Colossians for weeks and weeks.
152. 12:37 But in some days, we're not.
153. 12:39 We are just not.
154. 12:40 We're biologically, sociologically different.
155. 12:42 We are complementary to each other.
156. 12:44 And in the creation order established by God, there are differences in our gender, and those differences are for our flourishing.
157. 12:52 Those differences are good for us.
158. 12:56 So, how can we look at this 2,000-year-old text and recognize ourselves in it?
159. 13:04 And I think because some of those differences are profound, genetic.
160. 13:09 That's the design.
161. 13:10 So look at the next verse in Colossians 3.19.
162. 13:13 In 3.19, Paul talks to the husbands.
163. 13:15 He says, In other words, love them and be tender with them.
164. 13:23 Love your wives and be tender with them.
165. 13:25 And guess what?
166. 13:26 If you love your wife and she feels loved, and if you're tender with your wife and she feels appreciated, she feels your kindness, she feels your grace and mercy, submitting is easy for the secondary stuff.
167. 13:42 Submitting isn't hard if you're loved like that, if you feel the tenderness like that.
168. 13:46 That's a piece of cake.
169. 13:48 So if you want this, you have to take that.
170. 13:50 Now, it's funny.
171. 13:51 We're sitting here 2,000 years later.
172. 13:54 And I know a lot of men.
173. 13:55 I've been a men's Bible teacher for 20-something years.
174. 13:59 And the one thing that men need to hear, you need to be more loving and you need to be more tender.
175. 14:06 These are men 2,000 years later, so it's not about the culture.
176. 14:09 This is how men are.
177. 14:10 We're a little rough around the edges most of the time.
178. 14:14 And we need to be reminded to be more loving.
179. 14:16 My girls tell me all the time, that's not loving.
180. 14:18 And I'm like, ugh.
181. 14:21 They're always right.
182. 14:23 That's not Jesus, that's not loving.
183. 14:25 Be more tender.
184. 14:27 And wives, focus on the important thing.
185. 14:32 Let the nonsense go.
186. 14:33 It just doesn't matter.
187. 14:34 You see, we're very different.
188. 14:38 Men are men and women are women and generally we're not the same and we're not wired the same.
189. 14:42 And that is just facts.
190. 14:46 So God gives us these instructions, and we have to ask ourselves then, all right, if we're talking about husbands and wives, what's my goal?
191. 14:56 What is my goal as a husband?
192. 14:59 What is my goal as a wife?
193. 15:03 Is my goal self-fulfillment?
194. 15:06 Because if you go into a marriage for self-fulfillment,
195. 15:11 because you have a hole in your life because your parents were divorced or had terrible relationships that you think this will bring you happiness, guess what?
196. 15:19 Your marriage is going to be a disaster.
197. 15:20 You're going to be at Wellspring.
198. 15:23 That's a good thing, by the way, to go to Wellspring.
199. 15:26 If your goal is to fantasize about a job and then have kids and your kids are going to bring you fulfillment, guess what?
200. 15:32 They won't.
201. 15:34 Kids are tough.
202. 15:35 We'll talk about that in a second.
203. 15:38 If you think you're going to have a perfect home and that's going to bring you fulfillment, big house in the gable with the Mercedes Benz in the front, guess what?
204. 15:45 It won't.
205. 15:46 It's going to be a disaster.
206. 15:47 And then you're going to feel that hole.
207. 15:49 What should be your goal as a spouse, as a wife, as a husband?
208. 15:55 It has to be this.
209. 15:56 It has to be this, the glory of Christ.
210. 16:02 My goal as a husband has to be
211. 16:07 The glory of Christ seen in my wife.
212. 16:10 That is the very most important thing.
213. 16:14 And her goal for me should be the same.
214. 16:17 The glory of Christ.
215. 16:19 In every relationship.
216. 16:21 Not just husbands and wives, by the way.
217. 16:23 The glory of Christ.
218. 16:26 He is the purpose of my husbanding.
219. 16:31 Not my fulfillment.
220. 16:34 Not my desires.
221. 16:36 Not my happiness.
222. 16:37 That's nonsense.
223. 16:41 It's the glory of Christ himself.
224. 16:43 So what does it teach us?
225. 16:45 I think that this teaches us this.
226. 16:48 That all our relationships, if it's true for husband and wife, it's true for all our relationships, are subsumed under our primary relationship with God through Christ.
227. 17:00 That has to be true.
228. 17:03 And equally true is that all our relationships are informed, are shaped, are molded, are directed by the surpassing greatness of Jesus.
229. 17:16 Listen, if that is your marriage, your marriage will flourish.
230. 17:21 Because Jesus is the eternal dominus, not us, not you.
231. 17:27 Jesus is the king of kings.
232. 17:29 He is to be the ruler of our hearts, the ruler of our days and nights, the Lord of the earth, the Lord of our homes, and certainly the Lord of our marriages.
233. 17:42 God established marriage.
234. 17:44 You know why?
235. 17:47 For his glory and for our good.
236. 17:51 God established marriage.
237. 17:54 For his glory and for our good.
238. 17:57 Don't get those backwards.
239. 18:00 His glory first.
240. 18:03 Our good second.
241. 18:05 Marriage is one man and one woman, period.
242. 18:09 Doesn't matter what the world says.
243. 18:11 Matters what God says.
244. 18:12 The other things and the other types of relations we see, you can call them anything you want.
245. 18:17 You can call them a green-spotted frog.
246. 18:19 They are not that and they are not marriage.
247. 18:23 What keeps the world from submitting to his order?
248. 18:26 This order that has flourished and caused the Western civilization to flourish?
249. 18:32 Sin, pride, selfishness, the flesh.
250. 18:37 Paul calls it throughout this letter.
251. 18:40 And that cannot be true for the disciples of Jesus Christ.
252. 18:45 That cannot be true for you.
253. 18:47 And it cannot be true for me.
254. 18:49 Your marriage belongs to God.
255. 18:54 Let that sink in for a second.
256. 18:56 Your marriage isn't yours.
257. 18:57 Your marriage isn't primarily about you.
258. 19:01 Your marriage belongs to God.
259. 19:03 Your marriage is a way that he communicates his gospel to the world, to your children, to society.
260. 19:11 Your marriage is not about your likes and dislikes.
261. 19:15 Your marriage is about God himself and his glory.
262. 19:22 And your spouse doesn't belong to you.
263. 19:25 Your spouse is a gift from God.
264. 19:28 How dare we?
265. 19:32 Submit your marriage to the Lord and watch what he will do.
266. 19:36 Watch what he will do.
267. 19:37 Are you having difficulties?
268. 19:38 Listen, I'm sure you are because this world is crazy.
269. 19:42 And we hear things and we are bombarded by ideas and we think that we deserve this, that, or the other.
270. 19:49 And it's insanity.
271. 19:51 Submit your marriage to the Lord and watch what he will do.
272. 19:54 Make Jesus the focus of your marriage and watch it flourish.
273. 20:01 So a friend of mine recently asked me what the secret to marriage was.
274. 20:06 We'll name him because the guilty could be in this room.
275. 20:09 He said, Jay, I mean, we've been married 34 years and we are very happily married, I think.
276. 20:17 Yeah.
277. 20:19 Well, you're clapping.
278. 20:20 You're clapping for her.
279. 20:20 You're not clapping for me.
280. 20:23 And he said, what's the secret to marriage?
281. 20:25 And I told him this.
282. 20:26 This is the secret to marriage.
283. 20:28 Outserve.
284. 20:30 You want your wife to be happy?
285. 20:32 Serve her.
286. 20:34 Make the bed.
287. 20:36 Clean the dishes.
288. 20:38 Do stuff.
289. 20:39 Serve her.
290. 20:42 If she feels loved and served, she will flourish.
291. 20:49 Same goes for wives.
292. 20:50 You know what the secret to marriage is?
293. 20:52 Woo, dirty words in this Western culture, I'm gonna tell you.
294. 20:55 Same thing, serve him.
295. 20:57 Serve him, love him, serve him, love him.
296. 20:59 Keep serving, keep loving him.
297. 21:01 And watch what it does.
298. 21:02 And the Bible tells us everywhere, as we're serving, we're doing what?
299. 21:06 We're honoring God.
300. 21:07 We serve as if we were serving Christ himself.
301. 21:10 Wife, serve your husband as if he was Jesus, even when he doesn't act like Jesus.
302. 21:15 Especially when he doesn't act like Jesus.
303. 21:17 Husbands,
304. 21:19 Serve your wives like you're serving Jesus.
305. 21:23 And watch your marriage flourish.
306. 21:27 Well, first comes love.
307. 21:31 Then comes marriage.
308. 21:33 And then comes Chip in the baby carriage.
309. 21:36 So, next section.
310. 21:38 Children and parents.
311. 21:39 Let's read what Paul tells us.
312. 21:42 Children, obey your parents in everything.
313. 21:46 I love that part.
314. 21:48 For this pleases the Lord.
315. 21:52 Fathers, do not provoke your children lest they become discouraged.
316. 21:57 Children, please your parents and everything.
317. 21:59 Remember, we're talking to a Christian household.
318. 22:02 And the idea in the Christian household is God at the center, godliness.
319. 22:07 And so what are the things that please God?
320. 22:09 It's not to obey the things that are against the character of God.
321. 22:12 That can't be what Paul is saying here.
322. 22:15 And so what is Paul saying?
323. 22:17 Seek to obey your parents like you obey God.
324. 22:21 Faithfully submitting.
325. 22:23 Loving.
326. 22:24 That's what he's saying.
327. 22:26 Obeying the things that are aligned with the character of God.
328. 22:29 This is not unbound authority for a father to be an autocrat in the home with his children.
329. 22:36 That is not what Paul tells us.
330. 22:37 As a matter of fact, he precisely says the opposite because he knows how we are.
331. 22:42 Oh yes, children, obey your parents.
332. 22:46 but then immediately says, not, not, not, not.
333. 22:49 Parents, don't exacerbate your kids.
334. 22:52 And so what is Paul saying here?
335. 22:54 He's saying this, when he says don't discourage them, he's saying don't discourage them so that they would follow Christ.
336. 23:01 Don't discourage them so that they would be in the faith, they would remain in the faith.
337. 23:05 Don't discourage them so that they hate you and run away.
338. 23:09 Don't discourage them so that you break their spirits.
339. 23:12 Raise them in a way that encourages them in the faith.
340. 23:19 We can't even scratch the surface when it comes to what the Bible says about parenthood in this talk.
341. 23:25 But here, I think that Paul is teaching us and telling us that children and parents alike are to seek to please the Lord.
342. 23:34 That's the idea.
343. 23:35 And what pleases God?
344. 23:39 What pleases God?
345. 23:40 His Son.
346. 23:43 pleases him ultimately.
347. 23:45 And his son embodies faithfulness and encourages us to pursue and persevere in the faith.
348. 23:51 That is the idea.
349. 23:54 God has given us his son and each other as a great gift for us to point each other back to Christ.
350. 23:59 So what is the role of the parent?
351. 24:01 It's to point the child to Christ, to lead them to Christ.
352. 24:05 It's the obedience of faith to lead them into the faith and forward in the faith.
353. 24:11 So that every time we lose sight of him, of our God and our Lord, he will be pleased with us reminding each other, pursue the faith, pursue the faith, persevere in the faith, and at the end we'll hear the words, well done, my good and faithful servant.
354. 24:29 How much more so is this for parents who have been entrusted with little ones?
355. 24:37 You may be sitting here having had parents who are quite the opposite of any of this.
356. 24:43 You may be sitting here and you had terrible, ungodly, abusive fathers.
357. 24:51 Terrible, ungodly, abusive moms.
358. 24:56 And you're going to probably carry that baggage for the rest of your life.
359. 24:59 I remember sitting with my therapist and the therapist running through every...
360. 25:05 married relationship that I had in my history and showing me how each one was incredibly dysfunctional and asking me, how can you even know what a good relationship looks like when you've never seen one?
361. 25:21 I knew the answer.
362. 25:22 I see it in here.
363. 25:24 I see it because I met my heavenly father.
364. 25:27 He's my true father.
365. 25:29 And despite how bad yours was, you have a better one.
366. 25:36 who does love you beyond measure.
367. 25:41 In Christ you have a true and perfect Father who will never forsake you, who will never fail you.
368. 25:48 And that is what's most important.
369. 25:51 You see, I don't know why your road was your road.
370. 25:55 I don't know why the difficult things that you experienced in your childhood had to be there.
371. 26:01 I don't know why.
372. 26:04 I don't think you will ever know why, but I do know this, that if it wasn't for that road, I wouldn't be here.
373. 26:11 And so if that's the road that it had to be so that God's grace would be seen and felt and embraced, then that's my road, the road of suffering for the better reward.
374. 26:25 And I don't mean to downplay whatever trauma you've had in your life.
375. 26:30 I've had mine too.
376. 26:32 But I know this, that wasn't God.
377. 26:36 That was sin.
378. 26:38 That was darkness.
379. 26:39 That was ugliness.
380. 26:40 That was evil.
381. 26:42 And you can break that cycle when you turn to God as your father who gave up his most precious relationship to make a way for you to be loved by him.
382. 26:53 And what that means is that parenthood is a reflection of God's perfect love.
383. 27:01 That
384. 27:01 is the purpose of parenthood, to reflect God's love.
385. 27:08 Which means, by definition, that Christ must be the focus of our parenting.
386. 27:15 Just as he's the focus of husband and wife, he's the focus of father and mother.
387. 27:20 The goal is not to raise well-educated, well-mannered, good kids that don't do drugs.
388. 27:27 That is not the goal.
389. 27:31 The goal is to point them to Christ, to raise them in the faith so that they continue to walk in the faith.
390. 27:39 The goal is to show them that they're wretched little sinners, and just like us, they need a Savior.
391. 27:50 Now, they know they're wretched little sinners.
392. 27:52 And if you've had kids, you know, mine, mine, mine.
393. 27:55 You don't have to teach them that.
394. 27:57 That's like wired in from day number one.
395. 28:00 Gimme, gimme, gimme, mine, mine, mine.
396. 28:02 They are wretched little sinners.
397. 28:04 And our goal as parents is to point them to Christ.
398. 28:06 And we are not perfect.
399. 28:09 And you have your baggage.
400. 28:11 And you have your stuff.
401. 28:15 So the expectation is not that you will be perfect because you don't have to be.
402. 28:20 He has to be.
403. 28:21 And he is.
404. 28:23 So be quick to repent and quick to apologize, especially with your children.
405. 28:30 And let them see what the true gospel looks like.
406. 28:33 In our brokenness, we parent best we can, pointing to our Heavenly Father.
407. 28:41 And the problem is this, I think, that often our parenting doesn't point to Christ at all.
408. 28:48 Our parenting points to other things.
409. 28:51 It points to a great education.
410. 28:53 This is how you find happiness and fulfillment in the world.
411. 28:56 Points to wonderful vacations, cruises, Europe.
412. 29:02 Points to all sorts of things, except to Christ.
413. 29:06 And here's the thing about these little boogers.
414. 29:10 They live with you, so they know.
415. 29:14 So if you tell them on Sunday, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus at the center, and you hear singing that great song.
416. 29:21 We should have stopped after that song.
417. 29:23 That was amazing.
418. 29:24 Jesus at the center.
419. 29:26 Right?
420. 29:27 And then we leave here and forget about Jesus, and there's no Jesus in the house on Monday, and no Jesus in the house on Tuesday, or Wednesday, or Thursday, and Friday, and Saturday, and then next Sunday morning, Jesus again.
421. 29:42 We're raising schizophrenics.
422. 29:45 Because Jesus is not at the center.
423. 29:49 And what they're growing up seeing is that Jesus doesn't matter.
424. 29:52 That Jesus is something you do on Sunday mornings.
425. 29:55 And that's not it.
426. 29:59 Jesus has to be at the center of our parenting.
427. 30:01 And for Jesus to be at the center of our parenting, he has to be at the center of our lives.
428. 30:06 so that the songs are sung at home, so that the prayers are made at home, so that the Bible is opened at home, so that Monday there's Bible study, Wednesday there's church dinner and Bible study.
429. 30:17 Every day the Bible is open.
430. 30:19 Every day we're before God and they see us.
431. 30:21 What's dad doing?
432. 30:22 He's studying.
433. 30:24 What's mom doing?
434. 30:25 She's praying.
435. 30:27 They have to see it.
436. 30:30 If you're living a farce,
437. 30:32 There's no amount of words you're going to be able to use to point your children to Christ because they know that it's a lie.
438. 30:40 So are you with great purpose and steadfastness and mercy and grace pointing your children to Christ?
439. 30:50 Or are you letting the world raise your children?
440. 30:54 The world is not interested in them following Christ.
441. 30:58 The world is just interested in itself.
442. 31:02 And then finally, we have the relationship between bond servants and masters in the rest of this part of Colossians.
443. 31:09 Now, interesting in the ancient world, right, the doulos, the bond servant, was part of the home.
444. 31:16 The Roman Empire in the history of mankind has been the largest holder of slaves ever in the history of mankind.
445. 31:28 I think I read this week.
446. 31:31 170 million slaves at one time in the Roman Empire.
447. 31:34 170 million.
448. 31:36 Much, much more than even number two.
449. 31:39 Let alone, the U.S. doesn't even make the list.
450. 31:43 170 million slaves.
451. 31:45 So this is a very important relationship.
452. 31:46 One of the things I love about the Bible is that it recognizes the reality of sin.
453. 31:51 And it doesn't say that slavery is a good thing in Rome.
454. 31:54 God brought that to an end.
455. 31:56 God brought it here as well, although slavery still exists in the earth today in many places.
456. 32:02 That's ugliness.
457. 32:04 That's violence against the image of God in men.
458. 32:09 But it does recognize that it exists, and so God speaks into it, and Paul speaks into it.
459. 32:15 And I think that what we can take away from this section is that all honest work done with integrity is valuable to God.
460. 32:26 Because he speaks to the bondservant and he says, don't make pretend.
461. 32:32 Do your work from the heart sincerely so that your masters will see it.
462. 32:37 It's very interesting that the word that's used here, the root of the word that's used here for earthly masters, it's the same root word that's used for the Lord himself.
463. 32:45 It's Kyrios, same word.
464. 32:48 Right?
465. 32:48 So that's a very high role.
466. 32:51 And Paul is saying, you have an earthly master, you have a heavenly master.
467. 32:55 Do your work for the earthly master as if you were serving the heavenly master.
468. 33:00 And we can take that extraordinarily to heart.
469. 33:04 And work is not a, I know work is a four-letter word, but it's not a bad word, right?
470. 33:09 Work existed before the fall.
471. 33:12 Work will always exist.
472. 33:14 We will always work.
473. 33:15 There is no not working for us.
474. 33:19 Maybe not for lawyers.
475. 33:22 I don't think that there will be lawyers in heaven.
476. 33:24 Who needs them?
477. 33:26 Definitely yes for musicians.
478. 33:29 Right?
479. 33:29 We know that there's music in heaven.
480. 33:31 So musicians in heaven, how cool is that?
481. 33:33 So you've already started to do that which we will do for all eternity.
482. 33:36 Play music.
483. 33:37 How amazing.
484. 33:38 I've got to find something new to do with myself.
485. 33:44 And what Paul teaches us here is that we're all bondservants to God.
486. 33:48 We're all servants to God.
487. 33:50 Your choice from Romans is either to be a bondservant to sin and a bondservant to God, one or the other.
488. 33:56 You're going to be one.
489. 33:57 We are meant to serve.
490. 33:59 What does that imply?
491. 34:00 All of this implies this, that we are here to serve with integrity, with reverence towards God.
492. 34:09 We are working creatures and when we frame our work as work for God, we begin to understand that all our lives are lived for His glory.
493. 34:21 That what I do in the office is for His glory.
494. 34:26 My lawyering done well is for His glory.
495. 34:31 When I put a good contract together, it's for His glory.
496. 34:35 When I solve a problem that somebody has, it's for His glory.
497. 34:40 There's no difference between the priestly office, that which I'm doing here right now, proclaiming truth, and preparing a contract that's well done.
498. 34:49 They're both for His glory.
499. 34:54 There's an old book that I love.
500. 34:56 It's called The Practice of the Presence of God.
501. 34:58 17th century monk.
502. 35:00 His name is Lawrence, Brother Lawrence.
503. 35:02 He was a Carmelite monk.
504. 35:04 And he wrote this little book, The Practice of the Presence of God, in which he gloried in the work that God gave him to do.
505. 35:09 Now,
506. 35:09 He was a kitchen aide.
507. 35:12 So he worked in the kitchen, cooking stuff and cleaning pots and pans.
508. 35:16 And in his little book, he wrote this.
509. 35:19 The time of business does not with me differ from the time of prayer and the noise and clatter of my kitchen.
510. 35:29 I possess God in as great tranquility as if I were upon my knees at the blessed sacrament.
511. 35:36 What is he saying?
512. 35:38 He's saying that God is with him and his cleaning dishes well is an act of worship.
513. 35:45 That his cooking a beautiful meal is an act of worship.
514. 35:48 That all work given to our hands that's honest work glorifies God.
515. 35:58 So he wrote this little poem.
516. 36:01 This is a great poem.
517. 36:01 I love this.
518. 36:03 Since I have no time to be a great saint by doing lovely things or watching late with thee or dreaming in the dawn light or storming heaven's gates, make me a saint by getting meals and washing up the plates.
519. 36:20 God is glorified in your work, in all your honest work.
520. 36:25 And so the principle that we can derive is this, that everyone works.
521. 36:30 Everyone works.
522. 36:32 Your work is as important to God as God is important to your work.
523. 36:38 Now I want you to hear that again.
524. 36:40 Your work, your honest labor, is as important to God, it is important to God, as He is important to your work.
525. 36:51 When we understand that our work matters to God, we are lifted up and given a proper sense of purpose and meaning that is eternal.
526. 37:01 Working for money,
527. 37:03 is fruitless.
528. 37:05 Working for fame, fruitless.
529. 37:07 Working for identity, fruitless.
530. 37:11 It's a dog chasing its tail.
531. 37:15 It's the opposite of integrity, right?
532. 37:19 Integrity aligns what we do with who we are.
533. 37:26 And that's essential in our work.
534. 37:29 to align what we do with who we are.
535. 37:32 Working with integrity demonstrates the surpassing greatness of God.
536. 37:38 When we work with integrity that is out of a place of grace, we demonstrate our reverence for God, that all of our lives are His.
537. 37:50 When we work with integrity, we show the world that our eternal hope is not in that which I do,
538. 37:58 but who I am, a child of God.
539. 38:03 You know, in this passage, Paul does something amazing in the ancient world.
540. 38:12 He elevates the bondservant by telling them your work matters to God and how you do your work matters.
541. 38:22 And then he takes the masters and brings them down.
542. 38:25 And he says, you think that you're the dominus, but you're not.
543. 38:29 God is the dominus.
544. 38:32 And so you are a bondservant too to him.
545. 38:36 So he elevates the low and brings down the haughty.
546. 38:41 When we work with integrity, we show the world that our eternal hope is that.
547. 38:46 It's Jesus, not ourselves.
548. 38:49 The how of our work matters as much or even more than the result of our work.
549. 38:56 When we leave the result to God, guess what?
550. 39:01 All these pressures that the world puts on us to perform, they go away.
551. 39:08 And we can enjoy our work.
552. 39:12 Otherwise, we make idols of our jobs, we make idols of our professions, and we become the slaves of these idols.
553. 39:20 And they destroy us.
554. 39:23 They destroy marriages.
555. 39:26 They destroy relationships with children.
556. 39:31 They destroy our ability to work well.
557. 39:33 They destroy our homes.
558. 39:35 When Jesus is placed at the center of our work,
559. 39:38 Our work flourishes.
560. 39:40 It doesn't matter if you are a police officer, a bus driver, a minister, a personal trainer, a nurse, a teacher.
561. 39:48 It doesn't matter.
562. 39:51 What matters is that Christ is seen in your work, in your excellence, in your attitude, in your graciousness, in your mercy, in your love, in your striving to do things well for God, by God.
563. 40:08 Jesus must be at the center of it all.
564. 40:11 He must be the core.
565. 40:14 He is our north star.
566. 40:16 He is our solid ground.
567. 40:19 Don't you see?
568. 40:21 In everything, Jesus is to be the center.
569. 40:27 When Jesus becomes the center of our marriages, when Jesus becomes the center of our parenting, when Jesus becomes the center of our professions, our work,
570. 40:37 Our households are transformed from our personal little kingdoms into the household of God.
571. 40:50 That is where flourishing begins, in the household of God.
572. 40:56 And that is how he's glorified in us.
573. 41:01 Amen?
574. 41:03 Let's pray.
575. 41:06 Heavenly Father, you know each of us sitting in this room, and you know our pains and our sorrows, broken relationships left and right, broken relationships with parents and children, broken relationships with ex-husbands and ex-wives, broken relationships
576. 41:32 with former workers, workmates.
577. 41:35 Broken relationships litter our past.
578. 41:41 Pain that we've inflicted, pain that's been inflicted on us.
579. 41:47 What are we to do with all this?
580. 41:50 If we insist on carrying it, it will destroy us.
581. 41:55 And if we insist on doing it our way, it'll destroy us.
582. 42:02 And so what can we do but leave it at the foot of the cross?
583. 42:07 And turn to you and say, lead me, Father.
584. 42:10 Show me the way.
585. 42:12 Show me how to be a good husband.
586. 42:17 Be seen in my home.
587. 42:21 Draw my heart towards yourself.
588. 42:26 Show us how to be good parents.
589. 42:30 Show us when to love and when to be strict, when to be tender.
590. 42:37 We get those things wrong so often.
591. 42:42 Help us to point our children to Christ.
592. 42:45 That's our desire.
593. 42:45 That's our real desire.
594. 42:48 That they would know you and love you and walk in you because that's the only way they will flourish now and forever.
595. 42:58 Be at the center of our jobs.
596. 43:01 Be there.
597. 43:03 All the burdens that we carry that aren't ours to carry, help us to leave them off and drop them.
598. 43:12 And instead, transform us such that the world will see you in us.
599. 43:18 That they will know you and ask, wow, how do you do it?
600. 43:23 And we can say, it's Jesus.
601. 43:28 How do you husband?
602. 43:28 It's Jesus.
603. 43:29 It's Jesus.
604. 43:31 How do you parent?
605. 43:32 It's Jesus.
606. 43:36 How can you do that when your job's falling apart?
607. 43:39 It's okay.
608. 43:40 It's Jesus.
609. 43:42 Lord Jesus, it's all you.
610. 43:45 It's all for you.
611. 43:46 It's all through you.
612. 43:47 It's all about you.
613. 43:51 Forgive us for wandering.
614. 43:54 And we praise you for coming to get us.
615. 43:57 Draw us close to our Father.
616. 44:00 And may he be seen and you be seen in us for your glory because that's our greatest good.
617. 44:07 Lord Jesus, in your name I pray.

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