Where is the seam in your life — the setting where you become a noticeably different person than you are elsewhere?

Jeff Sullivan made a confession from the pulpit: he is an aggressive driver. He rides the lane, he cuts in to save twenty seconds, and if you come down the right lane trying to merge, his bumper is going right up against the car in front. Sorry. You made a bad decision back there somewhere. And then he said the thing that makes it a sermon. If he were standing behind you in a coffee line and you seemed like a reasonably decent person, he would wave you ahead without a second thought. Go on. No problem. Same man. Two completely different ethics, depending on the setting. We all have these. A version of ourselves that is generous in one room and ruthless in another, and we rarely notice the seam. The Golden Rule is not a nice sentiment stitched on a pillow. It is a single standard applied

Who in your life are you waiting on to make the first move? What would going first look like this week?

Look closely at how the Golden Rule is built, because it is not what people usually think it is. The common version is reciprocal: I'll treat you well if you treat me well. That is a trade, and trades are conditional. If you go first and I get burned, the deal is off. Jesus removes the condition entirely. "Whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them." You go first. You model the behavior you wish existed, before anyone has earned it and without waiting to see whether it will be returned. That is a completely different operating system. Paul says the same thing to the Philippians: look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. And it is only livable for one reason. Jesus went first. He did not wait for us to become worth it. While we were st

Which version of humility have you been practicing — thinking less of yourself, or thinking of yourself less? What would change if you swapped?

Jeff's driving philosophy was work smarter, not harder. Get ahead. Take the gap. Make sure what is yours stays yours. He said Jesus was rewriting it to work humble, not harder. And then he gave the best definition of humility going: humility is not thinking less of yourself, it is thinking of yourself less. That distinction matters more than it sounds. Plenty of us have tried the first version — running ourselves down, deflecting every compliment, treating self-criticism as a spiritual discipline. It looks like humility and it is actually just another way of thinking about yourself constantly, only unpleasantly. Real humility is lighter than that. It is not a low opinion of yourself; it is a free one. It is having so little need to defend your position that you have attention left over

Where in your life are you drifting rather than choosing? What is one deliberate decision the narrow gate would require of you this week?

Right after the Golden Rule comes a gate, and the placement is not accidental. Jesus has just described a way of living that runs against every instinct we have — going first, treating people the way you wish to be treated, thinking of yourself less. And then he says: enter by the narrow gate. Because the wide gate and the easy way are exactly where all that instinct takes you naturally, and many go that way. Here is the thing about the wide road. Nobody chooses it. That is the point. You end up on it by not choosing — by drifting, by defaulting, by doing what comes easily. It is wide because it takes no navigation at all. The narrow gate has to be entered on purpose. This is not a passage about how few people God is willing to save. It is a passage about attention. A life that looks l

What has following Jesus actually cost you recently? Has anything cost you anything — and if not, what does that tell you?

Jesus does not oversell it. "The way is hard that leads to life." He could have said the way is rewarding, or meaningful, or worth it — all of which are true. He says hard. There is no version of following him that has been edited to remove the cost, and anyone who offers you one is selling something he never sold. But notice where the hard road goes. It leads to life. And notice where the easy one goes. Destruction. That reframes the whole choice. This is not hard versus easy. It is hard-that-leads-to-life versus easy-that-leads-nowhere-good. Put that way, the narrow gate stops sounding like deprivation and starts sounding like the only sane option. And you are not asked to walk it under your own steam. The one who calls it hard walked it first and walked it perfectly — through a gard

Jesus says do to others whatever you wish they would do to you. Jeff pointed out the order of it — you go first, before anyone has earned it. How is that different from the rule most of us actually run on, which is treat people the way they treat you?

Discover how the Golden Rule transforms relationships and challenges self-centered living in this powerful message about Christ-centered ethics. Learn the difference between utilitarian ethics, egocen…

Jeff found three ethics inside the Good Samaritan: the robbers said what is yours is mine, the priest and the Levite said what is mine is mine and what is yours is yours, and the Samaritan said what is mine is yours. Jeff admitted the middle one is the one he lives by most. Which one is your default on an ordinary Tuesday?

Discover how the Golden Rule transforms relationships and challenges self-centered living in this powerful message about Christ-centered ethics. Learn the difference between utilitarian ethics, egocen…

"Humility is not thinking less of yourself. It is thinking of yourself less." Jeff described two ways of walking into a room — one asking how you look and where you fit, the other asking who is here and what they need. Which walk is yours, and what would it take to change it?

Discover how the Golden Rule transforms relationships and challenges self-centered living in this powerful message about Christ-centered ethics. Learn the difference between utilitarian ethics, egocen…

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Jesus' Revolutionary Ethics · Group Guide

Name: Christchurch Miami
Address: 8485 SW 112th Street, Miami, FL, 33156, US
Telephone: +13052715262
Price range: Free

Matthew 7:12-14

Jeff Sullivan Sunday, March 8, 2026

Icebreaker

Where do you behave worse than you do anywhere else — the road, an airport line, a family group chat, the grocery checkout? What is it about that particular place that gets you?

Matthew 7:12-14

Discussion Questions

1
Jesus says do to others whatever you wish they would do to you. Jeff pointed out the order of it — you go first, before anyone has earned it. How is that different from the rule most of us actually run on, which is treat people the way they treat you?
2
Jeff found three ethics inside the Good Samaritan: the robbers said what is yours is mine, the priest and the Levite said what is mine is mine and what is yours is yours, and the Samaritan said what is mine is yours. Jeff admitted the middle one is the one he lives by most. Which one is your default on an ordinary Tuesday?
3
"Humility is not thinking less of yourself. It is thinking of yourself less." Jeff described two ways of walking into a room — one asking how you look and where you fit, the other asking who is here and what they need. Which walk is yours, and what would it take to change it?
4
Jeff said his own road ethic is "work smarter, not harder" — cut down the right-turn lane, take the twenty seconds — and that Jesus is asking him to work humble, not harder. Where does your version of working smarter quietly cost somebody else something?
5
The four chaplains on the Dorchester gave away their life vests as the ship went down in 1942. Jeff said most of us will never face that single moment, and that giving yourself away on Monday, then Tuesday, then Wednesday may actually be harder. Where is your Monday-Tuesday-Wednesday version of that?
6
Jeff said if you want an atmosphere to move from anger to kindness, you have to be the first kind one, and someone has to be the first to forgive. Name a relationship where you have been waiting on the other person to move. What is one thing you could do this week to go first?

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Jesus' Revolutionary Ethics · Group Guide

Matthew 7:12-14

Discussion Questions

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